He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
