just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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