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and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
