atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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