i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
