Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
