id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
