no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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