i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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