Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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