Define "chronic" masturbator.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
