Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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