i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
