How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
