I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
