No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
