The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
