I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
