He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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