Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
