Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
