I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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