Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
