Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
