Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
