Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
