Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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