tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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