You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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