I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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