CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
