someone owes me an orgasm
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
