my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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