i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
