Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
