I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
