the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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