alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
