I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
