You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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