He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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