I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
