If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she peed on how many people?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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