Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
