Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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