HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
