I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
