I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
