I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
