hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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